The Library of Feminine Dissidence

Reading to rile and ruffle in the name of a more embodied feminine future

*BOOK CLUB ANNOUNCEMENT*

I have decided to join the Substack masses and start a book club. Both because it seems like an enjoyable way to interact with readers and because it will be an effective personal motivator to get the reading I desire to get done, done.

I chose this name because the reading I plan on choosing and the discussion I plan on encouraging is motivated by my general dissatisfaction with the state of things for women. Not a feminist book club, a feminine book club-meant to exalt who we are and the work we do, remind us of the truths we already know, learn to exist in a way that benefits and support our innate female nature and our roles as mothers and sisters and friends and lovers. A mix of reading to fire us up and to calm our true nature.

This little club will be hosted here, so please subscribe if you haven’t yet-

My plan is for weekly discussions by way of a solo podcast with my own thoughts as well as questions for the group. A chapter per week is the goal but we are flexible in this house so if certain material demands more time, so be it! Come listen to me beat my fear of speaking in public, discuss and exchange ideas, and maybe it will evolve into more!

First up is "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" by

Louise Perry

. The post (see below) I wrote on this book months ago on my Instagram garnered more attention than anything I've ever shared and I think I know why-she is talking about the things we all feel but don't say out loud.

tend.her.heart

A post shared by @tend.her.heart

My caption for the post shown above, influenced by my reading of this book stated the following:

“I have realized recently that freedom means ample time for the things I don't desire to be free OF-family, children, home, craft, nature.

This realization came by way of the brilliant book "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" by Louise Perry.

This book struck me for many reasons but mainly the fact that it describes the reality of women in such a truthful, matter of fact way that is so often shied away from or alternatively, is presented with falsities intended to be inclusive or polite that in fact blur the truth.

One of these facts is that feminism often doesn't account for motherhood, and that a notion of feminism based solely on the value of "freedom" isn't actually realistic for women who are mothers.

I am not personally heavily persuaded by labels and not particularly inclined to place any on myself. Some of this is due to the fact that I understand how contradictory my opinions can be, which is human nature. I could never be a stark adherent to any one label-category because I would surely upset and disappoint some of the other, more fervent and strict, members of that categorical space.

All of this to say-I very much agree with this notion, that freedom isn't actually about individualism when families are involved. Louise quotes a pediatrician, Donald Winnicott, as saying "there is no such thing as a baby, only a baby and someone". This of course meaning that the baby's existence is solely brought about and based on the care of another-the mother.One does not exist without the existence of the other. And being a "someone" to another, means that freedom needs to be redefined.

Embracing a version of freedom that isn't focused on individualism but rather on familial, relational, and communal ties is the way.

On a larger scale, society recognizing these facts-that mothers and babies are not meant to be "free" of one another, that by virtue of birthing children we now are a whole new creature that actually literally includes that new being, that an existence where this is honored benefits all people-is where true relationally-focused freedom for humanity can be gained. Women don't need freedom FROM motherhood, we need freedom FOR motherhood.”

I chose this title because it truly inspired some much needed thinking on my part and also, much more importantly, because I feel her message in this book is a good guidepost as we raise our children, and especially our daughters.

I learned of Perry’s work through this episode of

Bari Weiss

’s podcast Honestly, in which she debates the topics of sex, porn and feminism with Jill Filiopvic. I have since listened to many of her interviews and many episodes of her own podcast, “Maiden, Mother, Matriarch”, but I highly recommend this episode as a lead-in to her work and stances.

So! If you are interested in joining along, grab a copy and start reading chapter one, “Sex Must Be Taken Seriously”. This is a quick and digestible book with a lot of potential for very lively and productive discourse, so I truly hope you will join me.

Please share with your fellow dissident women!