First, after reading this yesterday I cleaned out my fridge, some of the junk drawers (plural) and tried out the self clean setting on my new oven, so thanks for that inspiration! We have 8 people living in a smaller 3 bedroom house and it just always feels like there’s too much stuff, so I think purging things is my biggest tangible roadblock to spaciousness. I get especially overwhelmed by having a lot of books and homeschool stuff that I don’t utilize- it’s like they’re always at the back of my mind making me feel guilty for not playing more games or doing more art! This post also reminded me that I made a goal this year to go through the kids baby things and put together a memory box for each (which will entail getting rid of many sweet clothes), and to begin going through the many years of digital photos just hanging out in the cloud and print my favorites for each year. You’re right though- there is such a big emotional aspect to being able to feel spaciousness. A lot of it for me is about letting go of expectations for myself so that I can have the space to connect and be creative, because those junk drawers are honestly not going anywhere.
Oh I feel you SO much on the homeschool materials. Curriculums that didn’t work out, projects we never got to, crafts supplies left on the shelf-it all feels like heavy reminders of where I didn’t try hard enough or where I wasn’t effective. Which I suppose those feelings are indicative of the need for a perspective shift, some gratitude and some self honesty-it’s not the stuff, it’s our connotations.
Also the digital photos!! That task feels like Everest for me, and is something I am working up to with the rest of this. I find myself thinking about old Victorian portraits, how few photos people used to have, and wondering if that is better. Of course having video of our children’s sweet little voices and photos of their every move is wonderful and beautiful but without organization and real documentation, it becomes yet another Olympian mother-task. I hope we both get there!
This post also reminds me of a piece of advice I heard once— “swallow the frog” —meaning do the thing on your to do list that you are most dreading first. It’s helpful!
Those books look beautiful! I just did my first clothes clean out for my baby ( 3 months old ) and I was a weepy pile of mush & now am expecting that going forward. I am saving all those clothes for now in case we have another one but it’s so so sad to see the newborn stuff get put up. I too have a collection of gunni sacks dresses that I’ve been saving. I don’t think I’ll ever be a size 2 or 4 again, nor do I want to be honestly, but they are very hard to part with. I’ve kept a couple in case I have a little girl, but I just gave the others for a girlfriend to sell for me on her vintage site. We just got done remodeling an old 1930s home here in north Florida, we don’t have a lot of storage and I love all things vintage. So does my husband. We moved into our new home literally the day before I had our baby and when I was packing the month before I had a big realization. All these things that I was keeping of my mothers have memories of her, but ultimately they aren’t her, and that really helped me let them go along with other things I had been holding onto! Now, I think I’ll go clean my fridge up a bit!
Oh I relate so much to everything here! I grew up in a 1930s home, I’m sure yours is so charming! And hello to a fellow Gunne Sax collector!
I like what you said about those memories and items and your mother. I think it is okay to hold onto the precious things, and I like the feeling of a well lived in space, full of items with memory and character and stories-but, when those things start to feel stifling or overwhelming, that memory can be clouded a bit. Such a refreshing perspective, thank you for sharing it here!
Parallel lives... I too need to clean the oven, clean the fridge, pick up tiny toys under the hutch, size up kid clothes AND I need a new face moisturizer!
I think I restacked about 18 quotes from this piece. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The perspective on emotional baggage around chores (feelings of failure, sentimentality, fertility, etc) was particularly helpful--as is the promise of emotional and physical spaciousness on the other side! I'm hoping to get some good home maintenance routines down as part of my Lenten observance (greater fidelity to the duties of my vocation, amirite?) and this has given me a lot to think about.
Oh I love that devotion to the duties of your vocation! I think it helps so much to see it just that way, as vocation. When I examine how I behave and approach things at my nursing job versus at home, I see I am so much more organized and disciplined at work, and it is because I have to be. Which is where self-discipline in the face of a certain amount of freedom has to come in. Not to say we cannot or should not take breaks and make time for more “fun” things-more to say that order creates even more time for rest and enjoyment!
Yes! I recently read an article about the responsibility and discipline of homemaking that really highlighted that point—with no boss, the element of self-direction and self-discipline is key! “Order creates more time (and space!) for rest.” Amen, sister.
Ahh something I have been putting off! Haha-but yes-sending out a timeline of sorts today. First post gong up next week. Had to get some real job things finished up before I could extend any attention in that direction-but I’m ready to get to it now! Thank you for asking!
This was encouraging to read. Neglected things really do pile up I have found. Things like you have described, fridge, clothes. Also more important things.
My list of neglected chores is pretty much the same as yours. I think I’ll go clean my oven this afternoon and maybe mend my husband’s flannel while my daughter plays in the backyard.
I’ve been feeling burdened lately with the piles of clothing and as someone who collects/ sells clothing I’m ready to rid myself of it all. Although much easier said than done especially because I think “oh this is cool! My kids might want this one day”.
I’ve accepted I’ll forever be a slight hoarder but one thats home is filled with things that bring me joy. Something that’s been helping me though is removing any polyester fabrics out of my wardrobe and sticking with those beautiful natural fibers that will last a life time (hopefully 🤞)
Oh I relate to this SO much. I used to sell vintage and have a lot of leftovers. I also have a lot of beautiful vintage like Gunne Sax dresses that I used to fit in but with my last two babies, I’m not convinced I will ever fit into again but selling them feels too sad. I also think about saving them for my daughters. At the same time, we have a small house with only two closets and no basement and space is so limited so it starts to feel like it is all closing in on us. My last daunting task I have left is actually all of my clothes, for this reason!
I hope you got your oven cleaned and that your husband appreciates the mending ♥️
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability on this topic! It makes me feel so much less alone! My list of things is about the same as yours. I’ve been trying to find ways to keep a more orderly home because I want my children to be comfortable in their home. This has me feeling more motivated than ever, thank you💗. Also, very excited to check out the suma domestica!
I feel the exact same! I have struggled with a certain sort of “curated chaos” mindset my whole life when it comes to the spaces I inhabit, but I am realizing that this doesn’t work in motherhood for the same reason you state here-I want my children to feel comfort in our home, like a sense of easiness, and I don’t think that is truly possible in an aesthetically chaotic environment.
Yes! “Curated chaos” is the perfect way to describe it. I’ve struggled with this my whole life, and I hope to improve for the sake of my children and for myself and my husband. That’s why I’ve leaned into being a homemaker so much, I view it as a means of self improvement. Thank you again for the motivation and for your vulnerability.
I have a pretty good daily routine going, but in the midst of first trimester fatigue it's all falling quite to the wayside. But I think some of it has to do with attitude. I found this post really refreshing and inspiring. Thank you for your work.
First, after reading this yesterday I cleaned out my fridge, some of the junk drawers (plural) and tried out the self clean setting on my new oven, so thanks for that inspiration! We have 8 people living in a smaller 3 bedroom house and it just always feels like there’s too much stuff, so I think purging things is my biggest tangible roadblock to spaciousness. I get especially overwhelmed by having a lot of books and homeschool stuff that I don’t utilize- it’s like they’re always at the back of my mind making me feel guilty for not playing more games or doing more art! This post also reminded me that I made a goal this year to go through the kids baby things and put together a memory box for each (which will entail getting rid of many sweet clothes), and to begin going through the many years of digital photos just hanging out in the cloud and print my favorites for each year. You’re right though- there is such a big emotional aspect to being able to feel spaciousness. A lot of it for me is about letting go of expectations for myself so that I can have the space to connect and be creative, because those junk drawers are honestly not going anywhere.
Oh I feel you SO much on the homeschool materials. Curriculums that didn’t work out, projects we never got to, crafts supplies left on the shelf-it all feels like heavy reminders of where I didn’t try hard enough or where I wasn’t effective. Which I suppose those feelings are indicative of the need for a perspective shift, some gratitude and some self honesty-it’s not the stuff, it’s our connotations.
Also the digital photos!! That task feels like Everest for me, and is something I am working up to with the rest of this. I find myself thinking about old Victorian portraits, how few photos people used to have, and wondering if that is better. Of course having video of our children’s sweet little voices and photos of their every move is wonderful and beautiful but without organization and real documentation, it becomes yet another Olympian mother-task. I hope we both get there!
Yes yes, weepy pile of mush with every clothes clean-out.
Beekman 1802 is the literal best. We also love Raffi's "Listen to the Horses" song <3
Aww I’m so glad we have all of these things in common <3
This post also reminds me of a piece of advice I heard once— “swallow the frog” —meaning do the thing on your to do list that you are most dreading first. It’s helpful!
Those books look beautiful! I just did my first clothes clean out for my baby ( 3 months old ) and I was a weepy pile of mush & now am expecting that going forward. I am saving all those clothes for now in case we have another one but it’s so so sad to see the newborn stuff get put up. I too have a collection of gunni sacks dresses that I’ve been saving. I don’t think I’ll ever be a size 2 or 4 again, nor do I want to be honestly, but they are very hard to part with. I’ve kept a couple in case I have a little girl, but I just gave the others for a girlfriend to sell for me on her vintage site. We just got done remodeling an old 1930s home here in north Florida, we don’t have a lot of storage and I love all things vintage. So does my husband. We moved into our new home literally the day before I had our baby and when I was packing the month before I had a big realization. All these things that I was keeping of my mothers have memories of her, but ultimately they aren’t her, and that really helped me let them go along with other things I had been holding onto! Now, I think I’ll go clean my fridge up a bit!
Oh I relate so much to everything here! I grew up in a 1930s home, I’m sure yours is so charming! And hello to a fellow Gunne Sax collector!
I like what you said about those memories and items and your mother. I think it is okay to hold onto the precious things, and I like the feeling of a well lived in space, full of items with memory and character and stories-but, when those things start to feel stifling or overwhelming, that memory can be clouded a bit. Such a refreshing perspective, thank you for sharing it here!
Parallel lives... I too need to clean the oven, clean the fridge, pick up tiny toys under the hutch, size up kid clothes AND I need a new face moisturizer!
Well I hope you treat yourself and get a nice one and I hope your oven isn’t nearly as dirty as mine was!
THIS WAS THE BEST THING IVE READ IN A WHILE.
That’s all I have the capacity to comment at the moment (too many ignored tasks weighing me down lolll)
Lol honestly, this comment sums up the energy of what I’m trying to evoke here! Thanks for reading in the midst of your busy life!
I think I restacked about 18 quotes from this piece. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The perspective on emotional baggage around chores (feelings of failure, sentimentality, fertility, etc) was particularly helpful--as is the promise of emotional and physical spaciousness on the other side! I'm hoping to get some good home maintenance routines down as part of my Lenten observance (greater fidelity to the duties of my vocation, amirite?) and this has given me a lot to think about.
Oh I love that devotion to the duties of your vocation! I think it helps so much to see it just that way, as vocation. When I examine how I behave and approach things at my nursing job versus at home, I see I am so much more organized and disciplined at work, and it is because I have to be. Which is where self-discipline in the face of a certain amount of freedom has to come in. Not to say we cannot or should not take breaks and make time for more “fun” things-more to say that order creates even more time for rest and enjoyment!
Yes! I recently read an article about the responsibility and discipline of homemaking that really highlighted that point—with no boss, the element of self-direction and self-discipline is key! “Order creates more time (and space!) for rest.” Amen, sister.
Aw. So so relatable.
The stress of putting off and the relief of doing and feeling capable!
On another topic, is the Louise Perry book club happening? ❤️
Ahh something I have been putting off! Haha-but yes-sending out a timeline of sorts today. First post gong up next week. Had to get some real job things finished up before I could extend any attention in that direction-but I’m ready to get to it now! Thank you for asking!
This was encouraging to read. Neglected things really do pile up I have found. Things like you have described, fridge, clothes. Also more important things.
It’s those more important things that make the fridge feel impossible, I’m convinced! Trying to tackle my closet today as it is rainy and gloomy here.
My list of neglected chores is pretty much the same as yours. I think I’ll go clean my oven this afternoon and maybe mend my husband’s flannel while my daughter plays in the backyard.
I’ve been feeling burdened lately with the piles of clothing and as someone who collects/ sells clothing I’m ready to rid myself of it all. Although much easier said than done especially because I think “oh this is cool! My kids might want this one day”.
I’ve accepted I’ll forever be a slight hoarder but one thats home is filled with things that bring me joy. Something that’s been helping me though is removing any polyester fabrics out of my wardrobe and sticking with those beautiful natural fibers that will last a life time (hopefully 🤞)
Oh I relate to this SO much. I used to sell vintage and have a lot of leftovers. I also have a lot of beautiful vintage like Gunne Sax dresses that I used to fit in but with my last two babies, I’m not convinced I will ever fit into again but selling them feels too sad. I also think about saving them for my daughters. At the same time, we have a small house with only two closets and no basement and space is so limited so it starts to feel like it is all closing in on us. My last daunting task I have left is actually all of my clothes, for this reason!
I hope you got your oven cleaned and that your husband appreciates the mending ♥️
i've been avoiding cleaning our the fridge for several weeks......and the pile of clothes grows...
Girl #justdoit (also my pile of clothes has grown since I published this so I’m right there with you)
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability on this topic! It makes me feel so much less alone! My list of things is about the same as yours. I’ve been trying to find ways to keep a more orderly home because I want my children to be comfortable in their home. This has me feeling more motivated than ever, thank you💗. Also, very excited to check out the suma domestica!
I feel the exact same! I have struggled with a certain sort of “curated chaos” mindset my whole life when it comes to the spaces I inhabit, but I am realizing that this doesn’t work in motherhood for the same reason you state here-I want my children to feel comfort in our home, like a sense of easiness, and I don’t think that is truly possible in an aesthetically chaotic environment.
Yes! “Curated chaos” is the perfect way to describe it. I’ve struggled with this my whole life, and I hope to improve for the sake of my children and for myself and my husband. That’s why I’ve leaned into being a homemaker so much, I view it as a means of self improvement. Thank you again for the motivation and for your vulnerability.
I have a pretty good daily routine going, but in the midst of first trimester fatigue it's all falling quite to the wayside. But I think some of it has to do with attitude. I found this post really refreshing and inspiring. Thank you for your work.
Our older children think I never baked or ever made anything. But I have pictures.
The little ones have a more sympathetic view of me, and there’s always the chance that I can make things when they get older.
They really do help with energy levels! Cleaning the oven really was weirdly therapeutic, I highly recommend! 😂