La Leche League Doesn't Care About Real Women*

The ideology-captured organization has responded to the resignation of one of their founders in a letter sent only to leaders

* said in my Kanye voice (also, yes, many women involved in LLL care about real women, but the organization itself does not)

You may have heard the recent news that 94-year-old La Leche League founder Marian Tompson recently resigned from the now international mother-to-mother breastfeeding support group of her making due to the organization’s opting in to extending their breastfeeding support to biological males desiring to artificially induce lactation. This is perfectly evident on their “Support for Transgender & Non-binary Parents” page, where protocols for milk production for “transfeminine” persons are outlined, a link to a “Trans Feminine Breastfeeding and Lactation Support” Facebook group that is ran by retired LLL leader and trans-identified female Trevor Macdonald is included, a link to a case report on lactation induction in males is listed, and an invitation is extended to both trans men and women to in-person lactation support groups. The story was exposed by

Milli Hill

and Tompson’s letter can be found in her article here and in the footnotes here for ease¹. A quote I especially appreciated from her letter:

“This shift from following the norms of nature, which is the core of mothering through breastfeeding, to indulging the fantasies of adults, is destroying our organisation.”

The OG protectors of breastfeeding, aka the 7 founders of LLL, Marian Tompson is top R, from here

Tompson references a foundational premise of LLL here, “mothering through breastfeeding”, which certainly is a norm of nature, all throughout human history. We, every single one of us, is sitting here today because our female ancestors mothered through breastfeeding. The fact that an organization that exists to guide women through this experience is now blatantly spitting in the face of all of those ancestors via their crimes against those norms of nature is a testament to the overall feebleness of our political and social environment that infiltrates non-profits left and right. Only within the context of a massively unwell environment can these norms of nature be eschewed in the manner LLL currently is encouraging and supporting. This is certainly evident in their (“their” being LLL USA) response to Tompson’s letter sent to the organization’s leaders, which was shared with me by a friend who is a leader on Instagram, who shall remain anonymous. The letter is below, in screenshots.

Obviously, the organization that exists to promote an innately female physiological process seems to have more of an “unwavering commitment” to ideology and popular rhetoric than it does to the females doing the work of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not an act of “parenting”, it is an act of mothering. Mothering and fathering are different, equally valuable and significant, but very different in their roles and responsibilities. The sheer physicality of mothering alone makes this evident. Women seeking breastfeeding support are not seeking “parenting help”, they are seeking help for an exclusively female act, there is a distinction.

“Inclusive, safe and affirming” have transcended the status of basic words that signal real things and have shifted into the realm of meaningless ideological signal place holders. Safety, much like autonomy, is one of the most valued ideas in current culture, and it doesn’t just refer to the ability to walk through the world physically unharmed or free of physical threat. It now means the ability and “right” to exist in a world where no one questions your values, ideas, perceptions, or actions. This is the safety that lives within “inclusive and affirming” spaces, such as the ones LLL aims to provide. Spaces where real women aren’t allowed to ask questions (as seen in a previous piece of mine, linked below, you know I’ve got receipts) or to believe their own eyes.

Their inclusion of “fathers, non-binary persons, and transgendered individuals” in their breastfeeding support groups signals a particularly extreme lack of reverence for breastfeeding women. It leaves these very private groups open to whoever wants to stroll through the door. Having attended LLL meetings myself, I know that these meetings were a place where women were often very vulnerable. Tears are shed, babies are nursed, laughs are shared, frustrations and worries are aired, victories are celebrated. This all can only exist in a container for real women and real women only. Introducing anyone else (much less a leering, mentally ill man) fissures that container. Leaks are sprung, cracks widen, the purity and specialness of it all evaporates into the ether.

Their condemnation of exclusion is particularly ironic. Lactation is an exclusive experience and act. It is so by nature. There is a reason why these men choosing to pursue it have to force their bodies into the task with drugs and machines. There is a reason why most often even when they jump through all of the circus hoops to begin lactating that they still can’t produce enough to sustain a life. That reason is exclusion. Males are excluded from breastfeeding babies, and women who devote themselves to lactation support should know that. Men, you’re just not invited.

It is interesting too that they hearken back to the year of the organization’s founding and then refer to “missteps” in their language and practices. No where in this letter is there an ounce of respect for the founders of an organization that very much saved breastfeeding for Western women. No where is there any reference to Marian’s accomplishments within her time with LLL. Only mention of these vague “missteps”, likely referring to when mothers were only called mothers and when only women were invited to their meetings.

Not only this, but they apologize for her! They say she is causing harm! Much like safety and inclusion, harm is another word that has suffered great dilution in recent years. Harm can mean anything! Harm may refer to anything from grave injuries suffered in a car accident to a delusional male getting his feelings hurt because a wise woman nearing centenarian status doesn’t believe he should get to suckle infants to fulfill his pornsick fantasy about doing so. In other words, it means absolutely nothing.

Then they wrap it all up with a neat little trigger warning now and a reminder to “prioritize your mental health” as if a letter from a very reasonable woman about a very reasonable thing could somehow send one into a death spiral. Honestly, sort of the perfect ending for such a deluded, stupid letter. This letter makes it perfectly clear who this mother-to-mother organization cares about, and it isn’t mothers— it’s ideologues. The organization is now a shadow of the one founded by Tompson and her friends.

I found it interesting that in searching the internet about Marian Tompson, I found an old article from 2011 written by her cousin Kathleen Tobin, who states of Tompson:

“Her family always came first, even if it meant canceling a World Health Organization talk because one of her daughters was having a baby. Secondly, she made sure scientific accuracy was at the basis of every bit of information sent out, even initiating studies on whether it is safe for HIV infected mothers to breastfeed their children. Next, she refused to let La Leche League be drawn into any side issues that might have political or religious implications, such as abortion, birth or same-sex unions.

Finally, above all she was passionate about her subject! She was thoroughly convinced that women’s bodies were made to have babies and to feed them with the best nourishment possible, the milk from their mother’s breast. She felt that it was not only a matter of health, but a special bonding that was a benefit to mother, child, family and society.”

From this, it can be concluded that Tompson is highly dedicated to women and mothers, and not interested in allowing ideology and politics into a sacred place where they do not belong. A woman with her heart in the right place, high integrity, and concerned with true equity (such as for those women with HIV). Apparently, she was so dedicated that she rejoined the LLL board in order to battle against the ideological capture of the organization she helped build.

Lucy Leader

(a great resource, as a former leader herself) gets into background of the organization’s downfall here, and states the following:

“Marian had rejoined the LLLI Board about two years before resigning for the sole purpose of stemming the tide of gender ideology that has infested LLL.”

This all made me awfully curious about the board itself and who comprises it. There is obviously some extreme influence at play here, and surely it must be coming from within. The current board is comprised of 13 women (shocked there aren’t any men yet). In quick searches for each of their names, a few of these women stuck out to me. The rest of the women have either very standard, unsurprising backgrounds or just simply do not have much information about themselves on the internet.

Marianne ”Mev” Vakiener, of Virginia, stood out to me with her blue hair, a meme all its own at this point. Her Facebook is full of donation posts for causes such as the “Transgender Education Association Inc.”, “Northern Virginia Pride” and the Trevor Project peppered with similar posts for LLL. She has photos of herself at some sort of trans summit, in one of which she holds up a sign calling herself an ally, and in another (below) she poses in front of a trans-friendly bathroom sign, so happy to know it is there permanently and not just for the summit. The hashtag #transrightsarehumanrights makes an appearance. She even has a post in which she shares the speech she made at a local Fairfax, VA school board meeting, in which she defends a male student wishing to use the girl’s restroom.

Best thing abut this photo? The fact that it makes it abundantly clear what this board member’s politics are. Please note the blue hair in the little profile pic, a trans summit image would be incomplete without it.

I want to be clear here—I do not know this woman and I do not know her character, how she may have helped women through her years with LLL, or her redeeming qualities. Scrolling through her page, she seems like a genuine person who cares a lot about other people. However, I think there is a tendency with some women who work in birth work to extend compassion in a misguided manner, and in Vakiener’s case, this kindness is clearly impacting her ability to perceive the sort of man who wants to nurse babies correctly. And this injury of perception is clearly impacting her role at LLL. I cannot say specifically in what way, but I cannot see how someone so outspoken on the trans issue who sits on the board that acted in such a way that Tompson felt the need to resign cannot have impacted the direction this board is taking on these matters. Simply put, La Leche League has a trans activist on their board.

The other member that stood out to me was Diane Thompson. On her LinkedIn page, it states she has worked with LLLI since 2016 and also co-founded a company called “Get Inclusive” in 2013 and was there until 2021 (now “Vector Solutions”), an e-learning company which appears to create learning modules and courses on inclusivity for mainly the higher education industry. Some available courses from Vector, as listed on their website linked above, can be sampled below:

I want to remind the reader that Thompson didn’t just work for this company, she co-founded it. Is there another activist in the room with us? It would seem so. Again, there is no way that the work that this woman clearly cares about doesn’t impact her role on the board for LLL. Yes, these are assumptions, but also they are common sense conclusions. We can only wonder what the inner workings of the board look like, but I do imagine that these two women and most likely others, are at least partially responsible for the ideological capture of the organization. With this capture, many real women feel betrayed and have lost what may have been their greatest help with breastfeeding issues.

Women don’t want to be helped by an organization that cannot find it in themselves to say men are not welcome at their breastfeeding support meetings. Women want real life material safety, not just the make believe kind that those same men now demand from us. Women don’t want help from an organization that discards words like “womanly” and has to use “chestfeeding” for every time they use “breastfeeding”. Women don’t want help from an organization that would rather call them “parents” than “mothers”. Women don’t want help from the sort of organization that shames and insults one of its honorable founders, a woman who helped create a culture where breastfeeding is acceptable and encouraged, a woman who is truly a part of history. The women who do still want help from LLL either don’t know any better or are already captured in the same way the organization is.

When indulgent concepts become the priority over material reality, there is an element of disease at play. Things are not in balance, overgrowth of distractions is allowed, waste builds up. Things do not get done, people talk in circles, nothing actually means anything. When this happens in the realm of women’s health, women and babies suffer and languish while the higher-ups play their activism games. La Leche League doesn’t care about real women, the women who actually grow and birth babies, not the pretend ones who don’t have the physiological blueprint to do so. The women who actually breastfeed, not chestfeed. The women who are actually mothering, not just parenting, their children. Real women need words and ideas to actually mean something, otherwise their existence is trivialized, mocked and erased as collateral in the culture wars.

1. “November 9, 2024

Dear Leaders of La Leche League,

I want to share some important news.

On November 6, 2024, I resigned from the LLLI Board of Directors and from LLL itself, an organization that has become a travesty of my original intent.

From an organization with the specific Mission of supporting biological women who want to give their babies the best start in life by breastfeeding them, LLL’s focus has subtly shifted to include men who, for whatever reason, want to have the experience of breastfeeding despite no careful long-term research on male lactation and how that may affect the baby.

This shift from following the norms of Nature, which is the core of mothering through breastfeeding, to indulging the fantasies of adults, is destroying our organization.

Despite my efforts these past two years as a Board member, it has become clear that there is nothing I can do to change this trajectory by staying involved.

Still, I leave the door open to come back when La Leche League returns to its original Mission and Purpose.

I thank each of you for your years of making this world a healthier and happier place by being there for all mothers needing help with breastfeeding their babies.

With much love,

Marian Tompson

Founder of La Leche League"